Review Scores

The scores to my SpongeBob reviews are autistically simple (as to keep with the theme), but if I’m going to be a good cartoon critic like my heroes, Mr. Enter and Ben T. Looney, then I’m going to have to step up my game a bit. So for everything but my SpongeBob reviews, I’m going to give them a numbered rating (see: originality). Here’s an accurate explanation for these scores, which are truly a landmark in the field of avant-garde cartoon blogging.

A ten means that the thing that I reviewed is perfect. If I rate something a ten, you have the right to call me autistic.

A nine means that it’s near perfect, but there are still some flaws. You already can make fun of me for running a cartoon blog, but if I give something a nine, the mean comments should be more hateful.

When I rate something a six, seven, or eight, that means that the subject of the review is above average. An eight implies that it’s more above average than a seven and a six implies that it‘s only slightly above average. . If I rate a cartoon a seven or an eight, you can call me a loser for liking cartoons.

If I give something a 5, that means that the cartoon is average. I’m going to stop making jokes because I’ve run out of ideas.

A four means that something is below average.

A three means that something is garbage.

A two means that something is shit.

A one means that something is horrible.

There you go.